Wednesday, November 16, 2011

From the Tutor: 12 Things You Need to Know About Bullying



Bullying exists in nearly every school in every city, village and town.  Everyone knows that.  But here are some things about bullying every parent, school administrator and teacher should know.

You NEED TO KNOW THAT:
1.     Bullying is 'officially' defined as intentional, repeated hurtful acts, words or behavior…not intentionally provoked by the victim….where there is a real or perceived imbalance in power
2.    Physical bullying is everything from hitting and poking, to hair pulling and tickling and even biting.  Bullying can, and all too often does lead to greater, real violence. 
3.    Verbal bullying is the most common type.  Victims are subject to all such acts as name calling, teasing and gossiping.
4.    Emotional bullying has been called peer pressure.  It involves humiliating, blackmailing, rating, isolating and ostracizing the victim.
5.    Sexual harassment is a very common form of bullying.  Bullies use exhibitionism, voyeurism, propositioning, and even actual physical contact and assault.
6.    When surveyed, 9 out of 10 high school students reported having observed bulling.
7.    76.8 percent of junior high school students in a recent survey reported having been a victim of bullying. These hurtful memories follow the victim through school and into adulthood.
8.    It has been shown over and over that no part of the country, no neighborhood, no school, is immune to problems of bullying. 
9.    Fully one in five students, including elementary school students,  has admitted to acting as a bully when surveyed anonymously.
10.  Victims suffer in many ways beyond the physical
a.    Grades drop – the victim loses focus on classes when confronted with the bully on a regular basis.  Often attendance drops as well.
b.    Isolation and depression – to avoid more bullying the victim will avoid contact with others in the school environment and elsewhere.
c.     Fighting back and escalating violence – in anger and desperation a victim will retaliate and often just cause themselves even more problems.
d.    Long-term anxiety and insecurity – these can damage career, family life and even  the victim's long-term health
11.   The bullies themselves suffer
a.    School attendance suffers
b.    Bullies are at greater than average risk of dropping out of school altogether
c.     Bullies can have life-long emotional and relationship issues
12.  Bystanders are not immune from harm either
a.    They are distracted from learning.
b.    They can be afraid to report the incident, but be conflicted about their choice and feel guilty and even experience helplessness along with the victim.
c.     They can be afraid to even associate with victims for fear of being bullied themselves.
d.    Worst of all, they can be drawn into bullying behavior themselves.

As a parent you need to watch for signs of stress in your children.  Talk to them, often, about bullying.  Most of all DO SOMETHING about every single incidence of bullying – talk to the students involved, talk to parents, talk to teacher, talk to school administration,  Never, ever give the impression it is ok or not important.

Jo Karabasz
Download this article as a file HERE

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