College Writing Course #4 – Simplify, Simplify, SIMPLIFY!

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Now we come to the last ‘improve style via proofreading’ topics.  We’ve already looked at enhancing Verbs, sticking to Active Voice and letting Nouns have their Voice.

It is time for one last proofing pass to knock out a killer of clear writing.  That is, using 4 words [or 3 or 6] when 1 will suffice.  Sadly, tis is all too common an attempt to sound….academic….where writers end up just sounding, well, muddled.

This series has already looked at wordiness and how it just makes writing vague.  But just so you don’t mistake my meaning – let’s focus on wordiness itself this time.  I’m including a list here of Bloated phrases and their Healthier replacements.

Bloated	Healthier
Verbs
has knowledge of  --  is aware of	Knows
is running - is taking - is having	Runs – Takes – Has
Phrases
for the reason - due to the fact that - owing to the fact that  - this is why on the grounds that in light of the fact that considering the fact that	Because - Why
under circumstances in which on the occasion of in a situation in which	When
regardless of the fact that despite the fact that	Even though - Although
if it should transpire/happen that in the event that under circumstances in which	If

Bloated	Healthier
as regards - in reference to   with regard to - concerning the matter of where . . . is concerned	about
has the ability to - has the opportunity to has the capacity for - is in a position to	can
it is crucial that - it is necessary that there is a need/necessity for it is incumbent upon - it is important that	must, should
prior to - in anticipation of following on - at the same time as subsequent to - simultaneously with	before, after, as
it could happen that - it is possible that the possibility exists for there is a chance that	may, might, can, could
Expletive construction
it is there is there are	Re-write the sentence without it

Cut!  Slash! BUTCHER!  Tear out any wordiness you find and replace it with concise, HEALTHIER options.

Finally, I am forced to mention a creeping scourge on the face of American usage….look at the following sentence

The reason that is is that she was too early.

          replace with – “because she was too early”

Notice “is is”!  It is infecting all kinds of language.  Listen even to newscasts and you will hear it.  Don’t say it, please – and for the love of good writing, don’t USE it!

This is the last best advice I have that can improve your writing AFTER the fact.  The next few articles in this series will look at the ‘before you write’ steps in putting together a good piece of academic writing.

Jo Karabasz
Overlook Tutorial Academy

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Go on to College Writing #5 >>>